Discovering Yourself In Solo Travel

I'm no stranger to travelling alone, much to the chagrin of my family and some of my friends. Most of them don't get it, but if I'm going to get to see the whole world then I can't exactly wait on the schedule of others to get there. I know a lot of people look at solo travel as a means of self discovery - if you're completely alone then the only company you have is yourself.

Despite all my solo travel I never shared that common idea that it was something you do to find yourself. Then again I don't think I've ever done more then five or six days alone. This most recent trip to Australia/New Zealand/Taiwan is the most time I spent alone and away from home and it's during that trip that I discovered the most about myself. I normally don't write about my personal feelings or experiences outside of my travels but I know that because so many people think that they need to travel alone to "find" themselves I thought it would be good to share my own experiences.

My family and friends often call me aloof. It takes me, for whatever reason, to figure things out about myself. About others? I'm really good at figuring out other people and situations, just not so much when I'm at the center of them. So the fact that I had any kind of breakthroughs in self awareness is a small miracle.

During the trip to Australia, New Zealand, and Taiwan (I'll refer to it as the Oceania trip for short from here on out) I spent the first five days with an old friend of mine who is local to Melbourne. I spent almost the entire time in that area with him with the exception of a day and a half. It was amazing despite his apologies that I had to spend my time with him I was more then happy to. It brought our three year friendship to a new familiarity and I had the most fun. After I left him, however, I felt bad. I was depressed and I missed his company (although he said he didn't miss mine which made me mad at him). I wandered alone for hours in the aftermath until I found myself mixed in with some people from my hostel. I felt so much better around them, and even had a realization about the relationships I have with people - that because I am so confident that I attract a lot of people who aren't so emotionally available and that is what frustrates me the most. That was the first moment of self awareness I had.

The second came two days later, during my first night in Auckland. I had been pretty busy during the day traveling and now found myself, after wandering the city, with the same empty feeling I had in Sydney. I thought well I'll do what I did in Sydney - buy myself a cider and sit in the common room of the hostel and try to make a friend. A few hours and drinks later I found myself sitting on an old pile of foam in a parking garage singing Wonderwall with a group of bunch of Germans, a guy from Turkey, and a couple from Italy. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, my second moment of self awareness, that I am a textbook extrovert.

While at home I often will find myself looking forward to being alone. I thought that because of that that I was an introverted extrovert - someone who enjoys the company of others but needs to be alone to get their energy back. Now I'm realizing that I don't recharge when I'm alone, I just overcharge when I'm with people for too long.

I actually sent these realizations to JP who is always my source of grounded advice and feedback. When I told him about my realization that I was a classic extrovert his reply was "I... could have told you that lol." JP is an introvert, which I often forget since he's so jovial and warm and friendly even with strangers. He seemed impressed at me self reflecting, and I suppose in that respect long term solo travel is just the thing for that. Self reflection and discovering a little more about yourself.