Dubai: Shopping Malls, Shopping Stalls, And Lackluster Shows

I awoke at the crack of dawn this morning. I had plans to play Dungeons and Dragons with my regular group but when I checked my messages at 4:30am they ended up cancelling so I spent the rest of my morning futzing around on my phone. By 11am the rest of my family was up and ready to hit the town. Our goal for the day was to take the hop on hop off bus tour and see all that Dubai has to offer.

We had a bit of a misfire getting on the bus. At first mom and EJ thought the bus stop was in one direction only for us to figure out it was in the opposite. Unfortunately we didn’t figure that out until EJ took it upon himself to walk 3 blocks ahead and turn the corner. He eventually figured out we weren’t all following him anymore and hustled back but our mistake meant that we got to watch the tour bus slowly pull away from the stop, unable to do anything about it.

We decided to pass the 30 minutes until the next bus in a coffee shop. I wasn’t hungry or thirsty yet but my parents got coffee and pastries. Mom ordered a toasted English muffin with butter and after a very confused exchange where the waitress asked if she wanted two pieces and mom said yes one in two pieces miming with her hands together then breaking apart. Dad simply asked what they had and selected a croissant from the verbal list. About five minutes later the waitress returned with their drinks and then a moment after that with their food. The English muffin was actually two toasted hamburger buns with butter on the side. I laughed so hard I thought I’d burst. Unfortunately she then handed one of the toasted buns to me since she didn’t want both and I was stuck eating this dry bread with no drink.

Our food adventure completed we then went back into the heat to wait for the bus on the side of the highway. We hopped on and then were off. I learned from the bus tour that the city of Dubai is so expansive there is no way we could’ve seen it all without a car and a guide. There were three bus lines on the tour and as we transferred from bus line to bus line I was a little shocked and offended by some of the things the other tourists were doing and wearing. So many of the women were wearing next to nothing - tiny shorts that barely covered their butt and tiny tops that were far too low. There were still signs in the mall entrances where we waited to transfer bus lines that said conservative clothing is required but unlike Abu Dhabi there was no one enforcing it or shaming them into feeling a need to change. There were, however, plenty of men leering at them which I’m sure was far more uncomfortable then receiving a ticket. The part that was more insensitive were all the tourists who blatantly drinking and eating out in the open. I even saw a woman smoking later in the day without a shred of shame. During Ramadan all of these things are banned from public, which is why the evils of shame are draped over any eateries so that you can’t be seen not fasting. Here in Dubai, however, there are far fewer shame restaurants and far more tourists just doing whatever they want. It felt disrespectful to be there standing near someone who was munching away on something and washing it down with water in full view.

We needed all three of the bus lines just to get to the northernmost part of the city, providing ample time to make mental notes of all the ways the tourists were ignoring local laws, which was also mom’s desired destination - the gold and spice markets. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but as usual my brother, father, and myself were harassed far less frequently then our mother. The shops in the spice market had all kinds of spices, nuts, dried fruits, individually wrapped candies, hookahs, shisha, saffron, and souvenirs and scarves. Mom loves scarves and managed to find herself lured into the back of one of the multi-storefront areas where it was nothing but pashminas and scarves. They were beautiful and made of all kinds of materials and mostly imported from India. She picked out a couple and then came time to haggle. The guy quoted us 1000D (270USD) which was absurd since we could easily get it back home for that if not less. It didn’t get much better then that and finally we decided to leave. The salesman chased us out of the store and then handed the merchandise to his friend at the entrance who blocked it. He tried to tell us we should buy it as well and then asked where I was from as I put my hand on his arm to push him aside so we could leave. I was about to respond when he asked if I was a local and I responded yes. He got out of our way and then said since I was a local he could give it to us for the price I asked (which was 300 Dirhams) but at that point we were already out and mom was well over the experience.

We continued our walk deeper into the markets where the spice market gave way to the gold market. The gold market was a much nicer experience overall. The only people on the streets were those trying to lure you into the silver shops or to buy knockoff merchandise which they call replicas. I’m wearing all white Adidas NMD boosts on the trip so the replica salesman kept offering hypebeast shoes to me too. Inside the gold shops the staff was friendly and helpful, not pushy at all. The price of gold is regulated by the local government so there isn’t much haggling if any at the stores. They’re also all air conditioned and have seats for the people getting dragged along with the shoppers like us. We walked (and waited) along the entire strip of stores while mom shopped. She couldn’t find anything she really liked but insisted she couldn’t leave empty handed either. We walked from one end back to the beginning and were about to start over again when she finally found a ring that she liked and bought. The store gave us some small waters to drink inside and while we were paying and sipping water from flimsy plastic hot lunch juice cups, Dad was outside waiting where a pigeon pooped on him. A salesperson for a local cafe noticed and helped him clean it off in the cafe and when dad asked for the toilet to wash, he was told he had to buy something so he bought an ice tea and then cleaned the bird poop off in a toilet located at the top of a three floor spiral staircase. When we found him he was back outside chatting and laughing with the cafe promoter.

Once again we found ourselves across the street watching our bus drive away from the stop without us. So we had to wait outside for 30min. There was an air conditioned, enclosed small wait area but it quickly filled with Chinese tourists making it ineffective since the door could no longer close. EJ and I spent the 30min standing outside near the subway stop in a section of shade provided by one of the advertisement structures. By the time the bus finally came I was so happy to see it and then so annoyed that the couple getting off the bus further prevented us from getting on as they asked all these questions while standing in the entryway for another two minutes. The bus had bottles of water on it and I grabbed a couple. Every time I had water I immediately sweat it out so I was happy to finally be in a cool area and sipping life giving water. The bus brought us back to the Dubai Mall which is one of the largest malls in the world and located at the base of the world’s tallest tower. Dubai is filled with “world’s largest” and “world’s tallest” structures. Since the bus service was ending for two hours we decided that we might as well take advantage of being there and see the sights. EJ had heard there was a way to get near the top of the tower without paying but by the time we trekked through the mall to the information desk we found out that was no longer the case and that to get to the top for the four of us it would be 1000D. No thank you. We decided to keep walking and make our way to the world’s largest fountain show instead. By this time I was starving and as we passed the food court (sealed off with plastic shame barriers) decided to stop in and grab a snack before continuing. After mom’s moments of indecision over what to have she finally settled on McDonald’s. She said she wanted to see if the cheeseburger tasted differently, EJ and I assured her it doesn’t but she insisted that it might (spoiler: it doesn’t). I got the McArabia Chicken, the most local sounding thing I could find on the small menu. It was grilled chicken patties in a pita with garlic sauce, lettuce and tomato. It was amazingly delicious.

Partially fed we continued our trek to the fountains. It was outdoors, which was a little disappointing because as the sun set the air was only getting more humid. There was, however, plenty of seating and we sat on the edge of the stone bench waiting for the sun to go down and the show to start. At 19:00 all of a sudden there was some Arabic singing over the loudspeaker and when it ended there was a brief pause before a canon was set off, shocking myself and most of the other tourists there. EJ laughed at me and said that he knew it was going to happen. It was another 15 minutes before the show actually started.

Now I’ve been to a few fountain shows in my lifetime, including the Bellagio a handful of times, and I can say beyond a reasonable doubt that this was the most half-assed, elementary school level production that I’ve ever seen. It didn’t last more then 5 minutes and was the same four water movements repeated while a song in Arabic played over the loud speakers. When it ended the lights in the plaza turned on and I turned to my brother and said, “that’s it?! I came all this way for that?!” To which he laughed and asked what did I expect from the world’s largest fountain show. I certainly expected something worth the mile and a half walk through the mall to see it. We slowly made our way back through the mall, got lost finding the taxi stand, and then were shuffled to a luxury car that took us the 20min back to our hotel. By the time we got to the hotel I was done. Exhausted, dehydrated, and up since sunrise I was a walking corpse. I drank some water and hydralyte, laying in my bed while the rest of my family puttered around the apartment, and regrettably got up only when they announced it was time to go to dinner.

At least we didn’t have to go far to eat. We hopped on the elevator and went up to the restaurant at the top of the hotel, called the Observatory, and after grumpily debating with each other over what to order either a la carte or the South American themed prix fix meal we finally settled on South American. The meal was amazing but I found myself barely staying awake as each course was brought out. We finished dessert (churros and tres leches) and it took all the energy I had left in me to get back downstairs, into my pajamas, and on my bed. I started to write and then swiftly found myself getting woken up by Mom, still laying on top of the covers, and being told to get in the bed properly. She didn’t have to tell me twice and sure enough I was out like a light once again.